Mila's maiden voyage. Chris let her take a ride around the block. She borrowed his scooter, helmet and shirt. 

Maybe a night in the drunk tank will make you think twice about pissin' in public. 

Yeah, yeah...hold on. Hey, what's dis fuckin' truck still doin' here? Look, am on a very important phone call here. Get dis thing outta her. Yeah, sorry. Anyway, my third topping will be sugar. Yeah. Just pour it right on top of the pep'roni. 30 minutes? Sounds fuckin' good. 

At first I was pissed at Chris for sitting on my bumper. Then I got over it and realized this would make a great glory hole, thus increasing the resale value of ol' Terry. Sweet! 

On Josh's birthday, we all went for dinner. He went away from the table and PAX started telling me how happy she was that this was the last birthday she had to spend with him. I asked her what she meant. She said that "You know, we got married like 3 years ago...so this is the last contracted year. Marriage means 3 years in Latin. Right?" I explained to her that marriage was FOREVER. That's when she lost it. 

Oh, I'll clean the gutters alright, Pop. Clean em' GOOD! 

Hey Dad, boxers or briefs? OH JAYZUZ!! 

True Pleasure taking his medicine and trying to figure out that confounded device. Ahhhhh, senior citizenship ROCKS! 

Internet. Cures the pain.

Scientist- "Assistant...what's that noise? Do you smell that?"
Assistant- "Sorry sir, I don't usually smell noises..."
Sci- "QUIET! Do you feel that?"
Ass- "feel? Wait...I can taste something..."
Sci- "Dammit Assistant, take that herring out of your mouth and pay attention!"
Ass- "Sorry your honor. Wait....LOOK! WHAT'S GOING ON?!!!"
Sci- "Oh. My. God. Why did I waste so much of my life waiting over at Mt. Schlag? That thing is dead. This...this Blog is about to go nuts. It's just lain dormant. The ground...it's shaking! SHIT! RUN!! Those are molten pictures coming RIGHT FOR US!!!!!"
Ass- "AHHHHHHHHH!!!!! There's a cat! A car wreck! NOOOOOOOO!!!! NOT BIRTHDAYS!! Mr. Scientist...hold me...I'm scared."
Sci- "It's okay assistant. That makes 2 of us. Now take off your pants."

Yup. It's been awhile. I haven't posted since my freakin' birfday!! Since then, I've come back home to PDX. Josh has become a geriatric. Chris crashed my car. I crashed into Chris' car. Owen was sent to a foreign country. Mila was feared for dead. I won the brown belt. Kyle won the brown belt. Hobbes went crazy. I ate dinner at my dad's. I'm working on chops. I left my work in a very unceremonious fashion. I'm not sure they even know I'm gone. Mooowhahahahaha!! I think other stuff happened too. But mostly, I miss Todd the Bod.

Caaaalifoooornia.... 

29 Years ago. 29 years ago I beat millions of other bastards to the egg. Why? Because I'm crafty. Or Krafty. Sometimes I think maybe I'm a bit cheesy...and I go GREAT with hot dogs. Neeeeyahahahahahaha!!! 

Thmiiiiile!! 

Yep. 

My shirt says "I Love (heart) Rashard" That's Rashard behind me. There were these dudes flirting with me right in front of my man...he got upset. Rashard is mad jealous. I had to hold him back.

Chris in his first trimester. 

Duh crew. Pax. Schlag. Amber. Is that a movie theater we're at? Nope. That's the TOP of Key Arena. The perfect place to watch a choke!

Did I lose a bet? Not one pertaining to me wearing this pink Sonics shirt. I thought maybe it would bring the boys good luck. But I think it only served as a distraction as the Sonics went on to lose the game/series and I lost my dignity. Here's PAX helping me change into my hot new shirt that Amber Alert purchased for me. A simple dare is all it took. SUCK IT IN!!

I get to enjoy this view for aboot 2 weeks. Then I get to trade it in for a nekkid girl. Fair trade. Fair trade. 

Plan B

Well, I was gonna throw a big going away/birthday bash here. But it looks like customs put the kabosh on THAT. Oh well, at least I'm gonna get away with it...I just blamed the Indians like everyone else!!
"RYAN! Did you eat the last donut?!!!"
"Nope, it was the Indians."
"I should've known. What about this pile of poop on the floor?"
"Indians."
"DAMN YOU INDIANS!!"
Or there's always this:
"Chris, I thought you were broke. Where'd you get that money?"
"Indians."

I think your painting could use some BRRRROOOOWWWWWWN!!!!