Dreams

Sadly, my plans never came together. My robot had a lifestyle change and now lives (happily) with another boy robot. I don't really miss him. Except those lonely days on the moon. *Sigh*...I guess I'll have to get some space helmets for my cats.
But priority number one is going to replace that t-shirt. A Mill Plain Missles shirt. I'd pay fifty bucks for one. Or maybe I'll call one last favor in to my old robot.... 

HBD!!

Today is a big day for the dude who was half responsible for me being here. Probably a few others that are here too. Happy birthday Dad! Love you! 

I Hate Canadian Television

In celebration of TSN (the wannabe ESPN) NOT showing Monday Night Football, I'd like to share the e-mail I sent them:

I'd like to thank you guys for taking away my Monday Night Football and showing women's tennis. Sure, you put MNF on the High Def channel (which is subscription). A wise choice. I mean, who would want to watch women's tennis in HDTV? I'd much rather watch sweaty dudes with boogers in HiDef...if I had a High Def TV. I guess I'll have to watch the highlights on the NFL network...or wait over half an hour on 'sports' centre. I hate Canadian tv.
-Ryan

The best part? The feed that TSN is showing is coming from the USA Network. USA USA!

Canola: The Hidden Evil

TRADTIONAL plant breeding? I don't think so! Who'd want to 'r' her?! 

Tourist Trap

 

Me vs Nature

I win. Every time. 

RARRRR!!

These sightings are becoming more and more common. Be on the look out for an angry, freckle covered, giant roaming the country side. Do not agitate him. Just leave your lighter and run away. This sighting is from from Seattle, WA:

" I haven’t seen Josh that pissed in a long time, I guess house projects do that to people..."

That's right, Angry Josh has turned his attention away from Xbox Live and is now focusing on house projects. Hide the hammers.

In other news: No Chin Ryan was seen fleeing the 7-11 with a Slurpee...and no pants.

NFL = National Furry Lip 2006

Though this has been discussed between individuals, it's time to address the issue with everybody. I do believe Chris has delivered the best description of our wager. His e-mail is as follows:
Ryan, Josh and Kyle (will someone forward this to Kyle),

Let’s do the stache bet again!!!! Josh – can you set up your fancy spreadsheet again? I am predicting Karl repeats as the “champ”…

And I saw a bum take a diarrhea crap on the sidewalk yesterday on the way to work. He was walking and all of a sudden took his pants down and squatted on the sidewalk. I saw the liquid come shooting out – I seriously almost puked in my car. It was awesome.

Very Truly Yours,
Christopher Buttlicker
Janitor at Law

Now, I realize that last year's "champ" (Hi champ!) wants nothing to do with it this year. He wants to put money on the line. I say "Pfffft". We can do that ANYWHERE. But I don't think Vegas has mustache bets. I think you can order a mustache up to your room...but I don't think there's wagers.
We've got about 2 weeks to get this together. I'm totally. Down.

Last Year's Winner: Karl!

It's So Easy! Happy Go Lucky!

Yatta! Yatta! Yatta!
I've found Karl's new favorite band. Do yourself a favor. Click this link. Go get something to drink. Now play the video. Just make sure you're not drinking anything while you watch it. You might ruin your keyboard. YATTA! YATTA! YATTA! Now excuse me, while I practice my Yatta! dance. I'm serious.
It's so EASY!!

A Familiar Face!

This last Wednesday, I was visited by an angel. By 'angel' I mean 'unshaven, Jesus Juice swilling, badmitten cheating American. The man in question? My homey of over 2o years...Chris!
He was kind enough to choose me over a big screen television. Sucker.
It was an awesome time. Spent playing badmitten, hanging out, watching the Seahawks get beat up and playing video games. Lots of video games. If you have an X-box360, do yourself a favor and download Geometry Wars. You won't be disapointed...or sane. The trial is free...so do it.
The visit was definitely something that I needed. A fellow American to chill with. Somebody to rage about Canadian tv with (half hour for NFL highlight?!! EAT A DICK 'Sportscentre').
So I just wanted to extend my thanks again to Chris for giving me some summer highlights.

Do I really need to say it?

Chris enjoying a victory shuttlecock in the ass. Just like usual, he brought it home from Wal Mart.

Pee Wee?

Here I am at the World's Largest Dinosaur. For three bucks, you can climb to the top of him. Stand in his mouth and BEHOLD! DRUMHELLER!! Actually pretty cool. And, yes. Yes my shirt DOES glow in the dark.

BUUURRRRRRRRRRRITO!!

While in Lethbridge (should maybe think of changing the name to Methbridge) we ate at a Mexican food place. I haven't had good Mexican food since I've moved up here. Now, it could be that we were within an hour of the States, but this place was GOOD. Pictured above is me with my "meal". Holy shit. I had NO IDEA what I was about to endure. At first I laughed, thought it was cute.

Does this look cute? Yeah, I'm watching my cholesterol...skyrocket. I keep that dolla dolla bill in my wallet. For purposes such as this.

Yeah, so I should be typing this from the hospital. I ate that WHOLE EFFING THING. The amazing part? Not that gassy.

No Girls Allowed

 

Butt Rock

Was this picture worth the run down a possibly rattle snake infested hill? Then back UP said rattle snake infested (maybe) hill? YES. As soon as I saw those butts, I knew I had to risk it. How do I spell hero? R-Y-A-N. 

Litter Box

 

Coyote

The belt will be MIIINE!!! 

WE DO!

HOODOOS!!! Dude, I freakin' LOVE Hoodoos. This park was FULL of them. Hoodoos are soft sandstone pillars that have gotten their ass kicked by wind, rain and magic over the years. The hard sandstone then hangs around and sits on top of the pillars. Pretty rad.

Expanses of NOTHINGNESS

Nope, this isn' the Neverending Story. No wish dragons. No crumbling castles, no Fred Savage...dammit. This was the trip from Calgary to Lethbridge/Writing on Stone Park. It was like drive across Wyoming...except Canada. Oh, and that's my new Seahawks hat. YES! 

Dino Sores!

Oh man! Look at that sign!!! AND FLAGS!! WOOOO!!!! Are those flowers?! HOLY SHIT THEY ARE! Oh my god, this soooo worth the 5 hours we just drove!
So, yeah. Doubt was running rampant. But....

Eat it, Ricky Bobby

I like Will Ferrell...in fact, I may even love him. I must. For I forgave him for Bewitched as well as Kicking and Screaming. But, goddammit, he's really pushing me with this whole Talladega Nights shit.
At first I was pretty excited about seeing it. I think I saw (Jesus, there's a preview AS I TYPE THIS!!) the cardboard cut out of him wearing the racecar driver suit when we saw Superman Returns. I remember saying "Cool, a new Ferrell movie...I haven't even HEARD of this one yet!"
Well. Somebody must've been listening. Because those assholes are making up for lost time. I was looking forward to the movie. But now I'm pretty sure I've seen the whole thing on t.v.
Drive with a cougar, not paralyzed, help me Tom Cruise, you're not on fire, feel the road, walker and texas ranger....I'm gonna LOSE IT!! I GET IT! IT'S A FUCKING WILL FERRELL MOVIE!!! HE HAS A NEW MOVIE!!!!! THANKS FOR RUINING IT!!!!!! ....but I still laugh when he jumps up and blocks that shot from the dude in the wheel chair. Maybe if I wait five minutes I can see it again.