Originally the title said A TIM to Reflect. Typo. But pretty funny...to me. Why? Because sometimes you need a Tim to reflect. Maybe Tim is holding a mirror for you in the morning...and you see that button you missed on your fly. Or maybe Tim asks you "Hey, do you ever think a few months back?"
"To what, Tim?" He responds "To when you had a fucking job, you loser! You wore a uniform for God's sake!! Now look at you! You haven't had a decent hair cut in months. You don't shave, except on special occasions...like the 2 week anniversary of the last time you shaved. And don't get me started on the pajamas. Jesus, man...GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF!!"
As I wipe the tears from my eyes and recover the butcher knife from Tim's throat, I realize that yes. Yes I do think about my old life. My American life. Sometimes I even miss it. I mean, I was in the MILITARY! Or, at least, the Coast Guard! I miss the paperwork. My See You In Toledo boss. And my homey's. And now I miss Tim.
7 comments:
My manwhore was in the Navy, but he doesn't seem to miss it at all. No, he doesn't seem to miss having to get up at 5 A.M. for PT, he seems to really enjoy not always having to tuck in his shirt, or having to get his hair cut every three weeks, or delicately folding his banana hat, or, you know, standing at attention for hours on end and taking orders...
(After all that, what's serving your country? Meh.)
Silver linings, darling. They're EVERYWHERE.
Though I sometimes sit back and imagine the fun I could have had while he would be on a carrier for 6 months of a given year.
I'm so kidding about that.
Manhore?
That is just soooo demeaning to Menz.
I miss folding my banana hammock.
Yes, silver lining ARE everywhere. Like on my pajamas! I'm a space man! I can't think of anything that could happen while yo' man was away for six months. Can you Karl?
SNAPS! What are the odds "Emily" is a 45 year-old single mom?
Well, I guess there are always odds to everything, but I pretty much prefer being a 22 year old college student. However my mom is 44 years old and single...is that close? I was just having a little fun.
What are the odds Amber Alert drives a panel van and wears big New Balance running shoes? Pretty effing good.
Thank you. I came this close to getting my feelings hurt, and then wondered what my mom would do. AHAHAHAHAHAHA!
You're all good eggs. And pretty f-in funny, if I do say so myself.
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