One Week Later...

Permanent Dentures. Permanent markers. Permanent hair removal. Even permanent flavored gum...or maybe that's peppermint. I now have a new found permanent. RESIDENCY!! Nope, not to be a doctor. Though I'd make the best one ever. Dr. Ryan, medicine woman. I like that.
One week ago, I was granted my permanent residency here in Canada. During that week, I've been congratulated by my new countrymen. I've also become very sick with what I can only assume to be SARS. Or Mad Cow Disease. Either way, it's just a cute way of getting hazed into the country. OH! Haha, I just coughed up my liver. You guys are great! Crazy Canadians.
But I haven't forgotten my American heritage. I couldn't even if I wanted to. I'm reminded every day by the people of Canada. Whether they're from here or India. They know I'm not from here. Or India. How? Either they have super powers, or it's the way I say "wagon" and not "way-gen". Or "Semi' and not "Sem-ee".
"May I have your zip code?"
"No. But you can have my POSTAL code. American."
Ahhhh, subtle nuances. Funny how close that is to nuisances.
You know what else keeps me feelin' my American pride? The new Me First and the Gimme Gimme's album "Love Their Country". All country songs with a nice punk rock reimagining. I felt a little guilty about the fact that I could sing along to "Earl" the first time.
Also fueling my American pride? My huge weiner...and ability to exagerate the truth.
Truths like the one I posted 2 down from here. About CODIII. Mostly I didn't get it. I got Gears of War instead. Thank God. I love the Locust. I'll be adopting a Locust baby here in the next few months. Hands off Jolie/Pitt!!
Also? Look at my demand for Joey Harrington to play for Miami. LOOK AT THAT SHIT! Dolphins? I'm waiting for your phone call and your apology to myself and my on again off again boyfriend Joey Harrington. Why won't you return my calls, Joey? JOEY?!!!
Completley off the subject, here's a list of bands I'm currently rocking out to. Possibly nekkid.
1. The Falcon (members of Slapstick/Lawrence Arms/Alkaline Trio...I can't stop listening to em')
2. Me First and the Gimme Gimme's (D..d...d...DESPERADOOOOOOO)
3. Ryan's Hope (Chris and I got lost in Calgary while listening to em'. Remember, dude?)
4. Los Straitjackets (Greatest. Christmas. Album....EVER. Thanks Conan!!)
5. Gatsby's American Dream (Just some good ol' indie scenster rock. I like it.)
6. Lagwagon's cover of the NOFX classic "Linoleum" (it's got a banjo. BANJO! Plus it takes like 30 seconds to download. Free. Rad.)
7. Scream! Hello (Piebaldish rock. Mi gusta!)
8. I'm sure Form of Rocket would be on here. But I can't find their new album "Men" anywhere. Fuck. I LOVE these dudes. But "Men" eludes me. Why can't I find "Men"? I looked online for men...I mean, "Men". I've checked the mall for "Men". All I want is to have "Men" in my ears all night long! WHY CAN'T I FIND "MEN"?!!! Not even iTunes. Form of Rocket? Please send me "Men." Please.
9. Your mom.
You may have noticed the change to the blog template. Or maybe you haven't because nobody comes here anymore. Either way, I'm gonna be adding some different pictures when I figure it out.
You know what would be rad? If any of the elite people who read this would send me some pictures. I don't care what of. It could be a turd in your toilet. It could be your turtleneck. It could be of the Christmas lights you hung on your house. It could be of a Silvertips game or your new boyfriend. I don't care. Just hook a brother up! I miss everyone!