Teamwork!! 

Smoking is Rad

Okay, bye everyone! Thanks for coming over! As family and friends got into cars to go back to their respective homes and hotels, things were winding down at the in-laws house. Cheesecake was being eaten. Jokes were told. Burps were burped. Then as the Pa-in-Law went outback to go pee...or bury a body...I forget. But he went out back and quickly returned to request Ma-in-Law "What we should do aboot this?' Huh. I felt compelled to follow them outside. Much to my delight...I mean, HORROR, there was a fire outside. In a planter. Rather, ON the planter. I think it was to celebrate or reenact the Olympics that were in Calgary. Or some dumbass had just put his cigarette out in the planter. Well, not OUT. Obviously. Here's a bit of evidence. Wait. I guess some of you guys were still there. Because then my biological (so they say) Pop's came outside, sniffed the air, saw the commotion...and that's when his 20 years of firefighting experience took over. You should've seen it. Total instinct. He stood on the steps of the patio and said "What's that?" YES!

Mountie...indeed. 

Hey Spartan Controls. Eat a big fat D!! You effin' effers!!!!!!! Angela and I had gone to the Calgary Tower (her work gave us gift certificates (parenthesis in parenthesis? Is this Algebra?!!! Anyway, gift certs are currently our life blood) to go to the tower for dinner). Upon arriving, the whole mother effin' thing was closed off to a bunch of dumbass dumbasses. We got dressed up. Nowhere to go. Except to Nekkidvilled.

Muchas Gracias Amigos

First of all, thanks to everybody for coming out. I know only a few people read this blog, but I think most of you were at the wedding. It really meant a lot to this cheesey mother effer. It went from eloping (I think Angela was afraid of being alone with me and having it documented) to her parents witnessing. Then I mentioned it to my parents. BOTH were willing to go. I think they wanted to be sure it was Angela I was marrying. It WAS in Canada. Then my homey's and siblings came. Wow. It was really overwhelming. Thanks a lot you guys. And thanks to all the well-wishers I've spoken to in person, on the phone, e-mail, people who honked at us (not for driving bad, but for the signs on the car) on the road. This was one of the coolest experiences ever. I mean, how often do I get to wear a tie? AWESOME! I really appreciate True Pleasure and Tiny Dancer risking life and limb with my cats as well. Simon has been dealt with. Yeah...just thanks again for taking time outt've your schedules to fly to the tundra of Calgary. Y'all rock. Now give me presents. OMG LOL!!1111one!one!!

Haha. "Duuuude, Ryan. You're wedding is....uhhhh...what was I sayin'? Oh yeah, remember that part on Ghostbusters? Nyeeeahahahahaha!" -Josh 

Frrrrrrt!! TEE HEE! You so stinky! 

The Pre-Honey Moon. Shortly after our hearty breffis, we trapped the Notorious B.I.G. in a bear trap. Apparently he "just wanted to be left alone" after all these years. So he's been living in the Canadian Rockies, sustaining on berries and nuts the squirrels drop. He looks good. I felt bad about his leg. So I gave him a piece of gum and we moved on. 

Huh. Looks like Chris is up to his old tricks again. Established in 1976...true, true...Lobster Shop? Whatever. Just because Calgary is landlocked doesn't mean the locals don't know crabs when they see em'. 

It was as if God Himself intervened. 

Mmmmm....I brew a 'coffee alternative' everyday. Sometimes twice. 

The lonesome Yank. Tee hee!

I've been left alone to my own devices. Namely finding free internet and making han'guber patties. It's been so much freakin' fun here so far. As you can see by the pictures, there's no shortage of sexy animals. There hasn't been much shortage of sun either. It's been pretty noice. So here's hoping that it'll last through Saturday. I don't want my make up to run. Or Angela. Before I forget, Happy Mutha Fuckin' Birfday Chris!! Dude, you were totally on my mind yesterday for your b-day. Haha! I sent you an e-card and re-sent it today. You'll be getting your present on Friday. Much love to Josh for assisting in it's creation. You definitely hafta get those pictures of Richie put on a disc. Just sayin'. And I know you're b-day was really on Sat...err...Fri...whatever. Just go get a discounted cup of coffee at McDonald's and tell me how it was.
I've been online lookin' at apartments most of the day today. It really amazes me that igloos can last year round up here. It's nice in the summer, the sled dogs get a break and the mail man is able to tell us what's going on in the next town over. You know what else is amazing? Most of the pads in Calgary don't have a dishwasher or washer dryer in em'. Not sure what that says about the people that live here. I guess they're more Euro than I thought. Kyle would love it. Oh wait. They have showers. Nevermind.
Thanks again to True Pleasure and Tiny Dancer for watching my place. I think. Not only do I now have to worry about when people are (see that? I'm totally faking concern) getting here, but I ALSO have to worry about Josh taking the temperature of my cats. That's a great picture. And the video? Owen's little stretch there concerns me. Like he was awakening from some sort of drug induced slumber. And Simon. He looks so comfortable on camera. Purring. Damn I love free internet.

It's almost TOO easy now. Just the way I like it. DId you know you can milk a bear?

So baaaaa-aaa-aaad. 

I totally farted. 

There are just SO many animals asking for it here in Canada. Mmmmmoooo. 

That's what you get for not hibernating, suckuh! 

I melted all that snow with my hotness. I also stained my pants with my hotness. 

Ted. Shoutin' you a holla, dawg. 

This is was taken from our hotel room. The picture. Not the mountains. It's the Three Sisters. Go ahead and run with that. 

Up at Banff. That's me on the left there. I keep running into this chick here. I think I'm gonna get lucky tonight. YES! 

ANother fantASStic view from the gondola. 

Ahhhh, the faux honeymoon. Today we took a trip to beeeeautiful Banff. BANFF! It's absolutely breathtaking. The town reminds me of parts of Colorado where Josh used to live. Up in Summit county. Anyway, you can take a gondola ride to one of the peaks there. Speaking of peaks, I gave everyone outside the gondoal a peek of my ass. That glass was FREEZING! 

Makin' all your dreams come truuuuuuuuue!!!

Look! Dreams really DO come true!! x2!!!!!

Chris' dream sequence. Careful what you wish for buddy! 

Chris playing with himself.