Do the Mall Haul

No kid is disappointed with a Chubbie for their birthday/Christmas/I love you present! So hurry up and give the youngster in your life a Chubbie.
While you're at it, get them a book by Dover. If I had to speculate, I'd say the first name is Ben.
Who knows hip hop better than muslims? Those dudes (and ladies) are STREET! Gangs are SOOO last season. Wear the wrong COLOR and be shot? Pfft. Whatever. Draw a cartoon for these guys. See what happens. I bought every single hat there. I'm now officially "Hip Hop".

RE: Beepingslag

So Slag went with some "normal" pictures on his blog. I'm gonna copy him.
These are all from our trip to Edmonton. Lots of nothing between Calgary and there. Where there wasn't nothing, there were farms. Where there weren't farms? Snow. It was a pretty drive. Above is a fence. A very sexy fence.
Speaking of sexy.

This was very peaceful. And sexy.

Dino Fury

Once I unleash my DinoArmy upon the world, there won't be any stopping me. But to insure the safety of my Prehistoric brethern, I'll need a train conductor....no...a medic....mediconductor! I'm accepting resumes.

Rub A Dub Dub...

Who's hand is that? "That's not my hand..."

Wintery Goodness

So Calgary has finally been getting a real Canadian winter. Lots of snow. Not the kind that was trendy in the eighties either. I'm talkin' the 'put on your boots and tuck your pants into em because this shit makes your feet cold' type. Oh, and those glowy things on my car? License plates. Is this what being a law abiding person (I was gonna say citizen...hahaha) feels like? Oh wait. No. That's my coffee. Time for some poopin'!

Highlight

So while we were living like Paulie Shore in Biodome, I learned my computer had some games on it.
Hearts was okay, but the animation is so fast I never knew who had what tricks. I was able to give all the players creative names, though.
Minesweeper is lame. If you like it. Well. You probably do some effed up drugs. Or you're good at math. One in the same.
Then came solitaire. I'm still learning. It was interesting.
Spider was effing RAD. I haven't moved past the single suit game though.
My proudest accomplishment? Defeating the evil force known as FreeCell. I've only heard of it. Never had any interest in it really. Until I had to find other uses for my computer other than internet and writing shitty stories. So I rocked out to some music and ruled the night.

I'm a star

They had a Sealion show in the mall. It was pretty rad. There were at least two fart jokes and multiple burps. So I laughed (LOL'd for you young uns) while I was there. I was called out of the audience to throw those rings at the sealion. He caught em! Then I was able to get a picture with him. That's me on the right. 

Sending Creativeishness to the Universe (Taking hot tubs)

"Hey Ryan."
"Hey."
"So. Where have you been?"
A shot rings out. BLAM!
"You...shot...me!"
"Where have I been? In a land where laws do not exist. In a land where I can take hot tubs in my hotel room...food was brought to me. Did I mention the lack of laws? This mystical kingdom? Fantasyland Hotel."
"Fucker. You're not there anymore...and I'm pressing charges."
"Dead men tell no tales..." Click, click.
Yeah, so the woif and I have been away. It was like a long commercial break during Saturday Morning cartoons. Sorry. The hotel effing ROCKED. But they wanted eleven bucks a day for internet. I was all like "In your FANTASIES I'm gonna pay that!!" They just stared at me. Then Angela punched me in the face and said "In MY fantasies you'd pay for that! GET A JOB!"
Man, what a great effing time. For those of (all of) you who are unfamiliar with the Fantasyland Hotel, it's up in Edmonton *spit* inside a mall. A HUGE mall. There's a pirate ship. Sea Caverns. Sea Lions. A French Quarter. A Chinatown. An amusement park. Mini Golf. But shockingly, no Nordstrom. I think you get it. I can't possibly type everything. Which is why I took some pictures. Which are worth a thousand words...plus I'm lazy.
So I'll be posting a few of em' a day I suppose. I haven't even gotten to the Calgary Tower experience yet. Wow.

Treasure Chest!

I don't know how I've missed this picture for almost a year. I was going through some of the random pictures I have on my computer and came across one that was super dark. I could make out the cow sign in the background. "Oh cool, a picture of my old pad in Seattle!" As you can imagine my surprise as I added light to it (Picasa is the coolest effing thing) there was Chris in all his vested glory. This isn't the only damning picture I have of Chris in a vest. I'm gonna find that other picture. I think there was American Idol tryouts that day or something. Or a gay parade. I forget.

NFL is over...but I still have feelings

Why I hate Eli. Owen told me, but I didn't believe him till he showed me the picture. Eli. You're an asshole.


Why I love Eli. The Calgary police busted down my bathroom door and took this picture. An invasion of privacy! In other news, Calgary has a police department.

Biting My Style

PenGAYuins

"Leth go lithen to thum Hathelhoff!"

Bonnie Rait is Embarrassed

Windows Moviemaker. A gift from the heavens. My pop has been taking the directorial path the last couple of days. The fact that he made this is enough reason for you to watch this. I'll post the other one as well. Listen to the lyrics and watch the pictures. This has been deemed "CUTE" by the cute authorities. In a badass sort of way.
For a drinking game, every time I sport more than two chins, have a shot. You are gonna be SOOOO effed up by the end of this.
Check out Big Chuck's artistic endeavor.

Basketball Diarreahs

Monday was my second game of the season. I was rockin' the ankle brace and pink wristband. A force to be reckoned ( I reckon) with. That is, until I started running. Oh man. No, it was so much my ankle as it was my lungs. DAMN! I need a brace for my lungs. Though, I could feign a limp to get subbed out. Moowahahaha! "Gasp...gasp...my....gasp...gasp...ankle...gasp....somebody...gasp...get in...."
"Who were you guarding?"
"Gasp...guarding....all....of...gasp....them..."
Yeah. So, I'll be riding my bike a lot more now. Because Tony Hawk just isn't helping me. Drinking gravy isn' either. I thought it would be the new Gatorade. Nope. Turns out it replinishes a lot more than just the stuff you sweat out.

I'm totally gonna get killed.

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