Caaaalifoooornia.... 

29 Years ago. 29 years ago I beat millions of other bastards to the egg. Why? Because I'm crafty. Or Krafty. Sometimes I think maybe I'm a bit cheesy...and I go GREAT with hot dogs. Neeeeyahahahahahaha!!! 

Thmiiiiile!! 

Yep. 

My shirt says "I Love (heart) Rashard" That's Rashard behind me. There were these dudes flirting with me right in front of my man...he got upset. Rashard is mad jealous. I had to hold him back.

Chris in his first trimester. 

Duh crew. Pax. Schlag. Amber. Is that a movie theater we're at? Nope. That's the TOP of Key Arena. The perfect place to watch a choke!

Did I lose a bet? Not one pertaining to me wearing this pink Sonics shirt. I thought maybe it would bring the boys good luck. But I think it only served as a distraction as the Sonics went on to lose the game/series and I lost my dignity. Here's PAX helping me change into my hot new shirt that Amber Alert purchased for me. A simple dare is all it took. SUCK IT IN!!

I get to enjoy this view for aboot 2 weeks. Then I get to trade it in for a nekkid girl. Fair trade. Fair trade. 

Plan B

Well, I was gonna throw a big going away/birthday bash here. But it looks like customs put the kabosh on THAT. Oh well, at least I'm gonna get away with it...I just blamed the Indians like everyone else!!
"RYAN! Did you eat the last donut?!!!"
"Nope, it was the Indians."
"I should've known. What about this pile of poop on the floor?"
"Indians."
"DAMN YOU INDIANS!!"
Or there's always this:
"Chris, I thought you were broke. Where'd you get that money?"
"Indians."

I think your painting could use some BRRRROOOOWWWWWWN!!!! 

Mad Max...Beyond Suburbdome. Just walk away...just walk away. 

Safety, safety, safety. When popping wheelies and pushin' Jeff to the max, I ALWAYS eat my vegetables and cover my junk. It only takes one mistake. Unless you're lucky. Like me. Plus Lance Armstrong gets by...so why the hell am I wasting my time? SCREW THIS!!! Freeeeeeeee BALLIN'!!!

Cable T.V. gave me a PHD.

So I'm chillin' at home this evening. Screwin' around with the blog, trying to find a cool new background. Made some dinner, sat down, watchin' the Phoenix vs Dallas game. Good game. Finally. Anyway, late in the 3rd quarter Joe Johnson of the Suns goes for a dunk. He gets blocked. But he hangs on the rim allowing his momentum to carry his legs in front of him. Well, homeboy hit the flo'. Hard. His body I mean. Mostly his face though. But the announcer made a VERY interesting point. After seeing the play and Mr. Johnson's head bounce off the hardwood, then drip blood on the floor. Senor Johnson got up and his eye was all owiefied. The commentator said "They'll hafta get some ice on that eye. When it swells shut, you lose vision in that eye." I was blown away. Here I am eating mac n' cheese, thinking I'm going to enjoy a mindless basketball game. I think to myself "He can't SEE? When his eye is closed, he can't SEE?!!" Yeah right. I mean, he's not sleeping, so why couldn't he see? I figure that this stupid jock commentator is just making things up. So I try a little experiment. I close my left eye. OMFG!! I can't see out of it!!! He was right! You DO lose vision when that eye closes!! Who would've thought? Well done Mr. Commentator...well done.

This makes me wish EVERY day was Angela's birfday. 

Josh was really able to make me feel comfortable around the camera. I mean, I could just be MYSELF! 

Poppin

So not much happened in PDX this weekend. Unless you count losing control of Jeff as "much happened". I mean, it started out as an innocent wheelie. Then it went horribly, HORRIBLY wrong. Sort've. By horribly, I mean that I was bucked off and ran behind Jeff as he did his best to outrun me. He reared up like an angry bear!! An angry GIRL bear! HAHAHA! I put you DOWN Jeff!! Anyway, he was up on his back wheel, my hand is stuck on the accelerator and the parked cars are drawing nigh. Holy crap. That's when I did something heroic. Not sure what it was, but somehow Jeff wound up back underneath me (wear he belongs!) the people downtown got a show. And Chris and I realized just how much power we're ridin' around on. Oh. And that we're completely retarded. Later, we found ourselves playing Hearts at the Horse Brass. Then Donkey Konga. Oh, and also the birthday party. Then more Donkey Konga. Not bad.

Turnabout's fair play....beeeeyotch! 

Cut a hole in the sheet. That's how it's done. Missionary. 

Just lay there, nothing will happen. Whatever. Something DID happen.