29 Years ago. 29 years ago I beat millions of other bastards to the egg. Why? Because I'm crafty. Or Krafty. Sometimes I think maybe I'm a bit cheesy...and I go GREAT with hot dogs. Neeeeyahahahahahaha!!!
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The fridge was left open over night. Everything is spoiled.
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6 comments:
Happy boofday...sniff...to...me.
H...huh..happy boo...boofday...to...meeee...
Happ...Happy boooofdaaaay deeeyoo meeeeee-eeeee....sniff..sniff...
Happy boofday.
To me.
"29 years ago I beat millions of other bastards to the egg..."
Not entirely accurate.
In fact, you are the combination of the sperm AND the egg.
Without the extraordinarily strong sperm -that caused your entire being, by the way- the egg part of you would have ended up as nothing more than a menstrual cramp that would have sloshed its way bumping into brown things in the dark ending up at the water sewage treatment plant.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Yes it is accurate! And true. I mean, the egg was just SITTING there. My superior swimming skills impressed the heck out've the egg, and BAM. Baby.
Bumping into brown things? Sounds like something I do now! Neeeyahahahahaha!!
"...the egg was just SITTING there. My superior swimming skills impressed the heck out've the egg"
Again...you are only half right.
The egg respresents your Mom's best effort.
The sperm represents your Dad's best effort.
The combination of the two is you.
Therefore, any old egg can get impregnated. However, it takes a special effort by the Dad to get that sperm "propelling" with the right amount of "energy" to make the journey.
Are you following the notion of the motion?
Happy 29th Birthday....
Well, technically, since my vasectomy...oh..never mind
Hey...there's nothing wrong with being a sports model...
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