As I lay here in bed, chewing gum and rocking out to this band Lightning Bolt. Seriously. I'm freakin' rockin' out. These dudes are pulverising my soul and melting my face with their crazy ass drums n' bass. I think they're from Rocktopia or something. Anyway, I don't dare turn on the t.v. I'm sick of seeing that nasty, drooling retarded chick on 24 hours a day. I mean, JESUS. Why do they have to show Oprah all time? Plus that Terri Shiavo chick. You know how much weight I've lost? Not as much as her in the last week, but daaaamn. Just show a picture of a tiger jumping through fire or something. No more. NO MAS!! Oh, and then there's Michael Jackson. At least somebody's taking some of the heat off of him. Why is it that Michael Jackson gets to go to court in his pj's, but this chick is getting starved to death? Mike's probably all full on Jesus Juice and she's...not. How much more effed up can current events get? Let me tell you. Rev. Jerry (the tsunami killed them because they're not Christians) Falwell is in the hospital.He'll probably live. But who died? Mr. Jonnie "Chewbacca Defense" Cochran!!!
Yeah, he saved O.J., but dammit!!! In a perfect world Falwell and Jackson would be sharing a feeding tube. Cochran would've gotten married to both of them in Hawaii in some crazy mormon multi-husband commitment ceremony and O.J. would've put them into a coma. Then years later Jonnie would meet Teri, decide he like the chick, and pulled the tube from those 2 mother effers. Or something. My gum is making me high. Or maybe it's this open paint can.
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