Airing Out the Apartment

A thick cloud lingers in the air. It's presence known, but not seen. It's origins can be heard and smelled. Traced back to a place that many have been and seen...if they were lucky enough to make it out alive. A cavern. Nestled between two huge wedges of hairy, pasty skin. The place?My brothers rank ass. He's gone now. But his presence remains. In the form of burnt nostril hairs and sharp socks left under the futon. But the window is open now and the HAZMAT team is on their way. I fear that Simon may lose paw after batting the sock. We'll see what the stitches do.
Between bouts of flatulence and cigarettes, we had a good time. The visit started last Friday as Kyle arrived at aboot midnight. Saturday morning brought us an early wake up. We were headed to Banff and Lake Louise. This'll be a trip that everybody (assuming anyone will) that comes up for a visit will take.
We packed a lunch and ate it at the lake. Kyle packed some smokes and my jacket. And some fudge. It rained a little bit and the clouds gave the mountains an eery, imposing look. Kyle was baffled as we explained to him that we were going to "walk" along a trail for about an hour. After we administered First Aid, Kyle got up and said "Walk for an hour?!" Once the paramedics left, we allowed Kyle a cigarrete and started the walk. He kept up pretty well. In fact, in the end it was worth it. We saw a grizzly bear! It was more of a brown spot on the other side of lake in a meadow of yellow flowers. Sort of like my underwear. A brown spot in a yellow area.
We watched the bear walk around for a while. Then we told Kyle it was time to walk back.You know, smelling salts are ALWAYS good to have. "BACK?!! Isn't there a car or somethin'?" No. So we walked back. Man, I love that place. That evening we stayed in Banff. Our hotel was the YWCA. Yup. It's like a hostel. Lots of students n' stuff. No TV. And we could hear each other use the bathroom due to the layout. Took full advatage of that.
After we dropped our stuff off at the Y, we headed out to get some dinner. About 12 craps later we ate outside at a bar with an open patio on top of the building. Awesome view of the mountains. Seriously, all our bellies were kinda tore up, but Kyle crapped at every freakin' bathroom in Banff. And the one at Lake Louise. VERY impressive.
On Sunday we headed out of Banff, and stopped in Canmore. Canmore is another cool little mountain town. They play host to The Highland Games every year. Angela's family (being Scottish) were going to attending. Since it's on our way, we went as well. Not too exciting. Except for all the dudes in kilts! YEAH! Oh, and the Bagpipe competition. Pretty cool. At the end all the bagpipe bands fought each other to the death! So cool! Oh wait. No, that was something else. They actually all bag piped together. Like, there was, like...ummm...a million of them!! Or maybe a couple hundred. Pretty cool. Then it ended.At that point we drove home. It was also going to be one of the last times Kyle and I would breathe fresh air.
Thus began the era of Outlaw Golf 2. Holy crap. We rented that game...and never saw daylight again. It was hilarious. And addicting. Just check it out. There's something for everyone. By everyone, I mean Chris. You can play as/against strippers. Kyle and I played as El Suave. A Spanish Metro. Awesome.
Oh, and then Football started. Angela never stood a chance. Video games, farting, football, farting, Kyle talking back, farting. Good times. Oh, and Chris? My X-box is is totally Monday'd.
So I think that might Monday up our chances of playing Madden on X-Box Live. That and the fact that you don't have internet at home.
So, that was the week in a nutshell. We're having a huge bonfire tonight. The weather is supposed to be clear and we have to burn the futon.